I never learned to count my blessings...

So it's pretty much official, my Grandpa is on a slow downward crawl towards the end of the line. I was hoping that his bounce back from the scare this past summer would last longer but it looks like that was short lived and he's only gotten worse since then. I'm going to miss him, and I truly wish I could have gotten to know him better. The hardest part right now is coming to terms with the fact that things are going to change. I never quite realized how much of the family dynamic rested on him keeping the peace to some degree by just existing. I'm worried about what's going to happen after he dies, not just to Grandma but between my uncle and cousin (they get along like two wet cats in a barrel full of nails, but hold the piece for Grandpa's sake) I'm fully one to admit my cousin is a screw-up and sometimes I want to give him a kick in the ass but my uncle doesn't really have the tact to handle the situation and has some resentments towards him that are deep seated and old. Either way things are going to change after this and I hate not knowing how.

I hate growing up.

Math ... ugh

So I just got back from my first night of math class. If it weren't for the fact I need this to pass the GRE and I need the GRE to get into Grad school I would drop this class in a millisecond.

My brain feels fried.

I obviously needed this though, since several things the teach talked about sounded vaguely familiar but unsolvable and then once he explained them made sense. The refresher on basic algebra and his breakdown of how to do a word problem are already helpful, so I guess I'll just have to suffer through. I think I'm going to start taking practice GRE math exams on the weekends to see if the class is actually helping before I sign up to take it again.