mythologian: (Big Head)
[personal profile] mythologian
This list is a bit premature since I'm still looking like a bobblehead gone wrong, but I'm definitely on the mend so I thought you'd appreciate a look at some of the crap that went through my head this past week...


Things I've learned while suffering from the Mumps

1. It's not that you're not hungry so much as too terrified of the excruciating pain that follows eating to do so.
2. Its a vicious vicious cycle of pain pills to kill the pain which cause nausea b/c you've taken them on an empty stomach, to eating which cases you pain, to pain pills .... you see where this is going?
3. You really can sleep for 24 hrs+ when sick
4. Reading Dominic Deagen while ill leads to really REALLY cracked out dreams. I means seriously weird shit, complete with illustrations
5. Always make sure all of your vaccinations are update.
6. Quarantine sucks
7. You never realize how much you miss food until you can't have any and you're really hungry. I'd kill for some veggies right now.
8. You know its bad when you have to convince yourself that taking the pain pills is worth the nausea, since that's better than dealing with the pain
9. Don't look in mirrors... you will only freak yourself out
10. Take lots of pictures, because one day you will look back on this and laugh
11. You learn which classmates/friends are true friends, since they will go out of their way to bring you stuff you need despite the risk of further exposure.
12. Fevers suck.
13. Nothing is more terrifying than the possibility of throwing up when you can't open your mouth more then a couple centimeters.
14. 1L reusable water cantines are your friend, refill and drink as much as possible
15. Your mouth will taste like ass from day one until the end when you can truly brush your teeth. Toothpaste or anything minty is a bad idea in the meantime so make do with careful scrubbing with a plain toothbrush and rinsing with water. Getting the toothbrush in your mouth might be a problem though the first couple days.
16. The doctor didn't lie, it does start to get better after 4-5 days.
17. I now have an inkling of what I'd look like as an obese child or a human chipmunk.
18. Foods that will kinda work: Nothing that needs chewing. Period. Trust me on this.
Day 1 - you should still be able to eat, and you probably at this point don't realize you have anything other than you feel kinda crappy and your jaw hurts, you poor ignorant bastard.
Day 2-? - plain mashed potates, plain yogurt, mashed or slivers of banana NOTHING with actual flavor (the banana is pushing it), lots of water
Once swelling starts to go - mashed or soft foods with a bit of flavor, nothing too sour or sweet
19. You will spend many hours with your brain feeling like its full of cotton fluff
20. Showers feel awesome on your neck, but don't stay in the heat to long or you'll end up really light headed.
21. Sneezing is an exercise in masochism. Don't try to hold it in, just let it out and get the pain over with quick.
22. When it starts to feel like you have walnuts stuffed in your jaw joints, but doesn't really hurt, you're starting to get better. Chewing will still be awkward and painful for a while.
23. Until things totally clear up, never try eating without having first taken pain meds and let them kick in thoroughly. You will regret it if you don't.
24. Once it starts to get better the pain from eating feels more like your jaw muscles are too tight than you're poked a hot needles into your jaw joint. Neither is fun, but you can work around tight muscle pain, hot needles - not so much.
25. I now know what people insist on getting vaccines, and if I ever have kids be they biological or adopted I'm making them get all their shots! TWICE!



All in all, I have learned to never doubt that a disease is catchable just because you have the vaccine, and furthermore, just because it's something nobody supposedly catches anymore.

Thank you all for the well wishes, they've been much appreciated.

My icon has never been more appropriate than in these last few days...
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March 2015

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